New Photos

CA Wedding

I went to CA recently for Amy's wedding. I did not take any pictures, but I was taken in many, so I'll try and poach some for my own blog. Stay tuned for more details.

this is quick post, but I love to watch the office, and I love the character Dwight. In real life Rainn Wilson who plays Dwight, made the web site soulpancake.com, described its self as a place to "Chew on life's big questions" which in essence is a community question board. I have checked it out, and have become a regular contributor. Feel free to look for yourself.

And some photos

1 for 7

Throughout history, epic battles have taken place. Some more balanced than others. Some include the battle of Good versus Evil. In tonight's blog, we will learn of the battle between Stacey and Jacob.
Stacey is the accomplished racket ball player. Jacob is what we can call a novice... a newbie... rook...
a tennis player rather than racket ball. Since the start of their time together, they have played a few games and the series has been some what one sided. Jacob stands proud of what he has accomplished, a whopping one victory... sad day... and Stacey has been dominating thus far (7 wins). Tonight was heartbreaking as Jacob was two points away from winning, but Stacey stormed back from 4 down and won 15-13. It broke his competitive edge, and he subsequently lost the next few games by a combined score of 30 to 10.
I wish I could bring news of victory in other areas, but the series record for Speed (a card game) is at 13 wins for Stacey to 6 wins for Jacob. Skip bo is no better (5-0), neither is Nerts (10-0)... and lets not get started with Boggle

Old Person Conversation of the Week

Me: Are you ready for lunch?

Old Lady: What is he cooking?

Me: (after examining the meal chart) Looks like finger steaks... yummy

Old Lady: Those again!? Them nasty things are older than Methuselah. I'm not going.

Then she said "We might as well get married"

As most of the blog followers know, I am not romantically involved with any females... at all. I am trying to date and find that special someone, but to no avail just yet. I do want to eventually get married, and I would like to have a family, I just have not met her yet. One of the blessings about living in Rexburg is the guy to girl ratio is in my favor, and so I do get hit on more times than not. Also, working where I do, the errant hand of an elderly woman sometimes finds its way into previously uncharted area...

Last friday, the 28th of May I was at work. Having been recently given a promotion to a Restorative Nursing Assistant, RNA for short, I get to work with residents doing therapy instead of manning the bedpans and assisting with showers. I think some of the residents picked up on the new vibe I have been giving out, and started to act out in response.

One lady in particular, we'll call her Betty age 87 with Alzheimers, decided to make my day. Early into my shift, she decided to wake up and start her morning laps. Betty is one of the more mobile people in the facility and has a busted old crimson walker with a black wire basket that doubles as a seat. The basket is stuffed, dare I say busting with useless artifacts found throughout the home. Napkins, kleenex, romantic novels, plastic spoons, music books stolen from the piano room, assort

ed cups from the dining hall, etc. Betty is quite the character.

As Betty was doing her laps around the hallways, she saw me and made a bee line towards me. Fearing for my shins (They have been collided into by many a walker) I put my hands out to stop the advancing metallic device. Betty then proceeded to invite me back to her room for a "good time" as she put it including the quotation marks. I respectfully declined, but to mixed shock and horror, she decided to not wait for a room. I can only assume that she felt her birthday suit was more appropriate for the situation as she started to unbutton her blouse. Having worked at the home for several months, I was well equipped to handle the situation. Buttoning up the blouse and assisting to the dining hall for breakfast, she started to talk about her desire for a family. I assured her that she already has one and I am looking for a younger woman.

Those were the wrong words.

Remember now that we are on our way to the dining hall, which is right next to the front door. One of out corporate officials (who incidentally looks like a carbon copy of Dolores Umbridge) was visiting and had just walked in as I uttered my desire for a more youthful bride to Betty. I could instantly tell this was the perfect storm. Betty looked me in the eye and exclaimed "Well then why am I wearing your clothes?" Just after that, a very Umbridge style cough came from the frog-like woman. But Betty was not done... then she said, "we might as well get married."

Realizing I could not salvage this conversation at all, and fully expecting Miss Umbridge to have a few words for me after work, all I could do was laugh. For some reason, I am talented with the middle aged woman, and experts with the elderly ones. I think I am going to have to consult with Sam about the younger ladies... he would know.

Happy Mothers Day

The earliest memory that I have of my mom is in San Ramon. We had been a family for a while, an things were moving along quite well. It was time for me to go to school, at Neil Armstrong Elementary. I was going to attend kindergarten. I still was rockin the curly and sun bleached blonde mullet. No doubt I was a cute kid. Mom was very concerned about me having ashy knees and elbow's. To combat that, copious amounts of Vasaline lotion was applied to my arms and legs. I had little noodle arms and so mom would put lotion on the arms and then squeeze her hands together and I would pull out my arm. It was a bonding moment for me. For some reason, it made me feel loved and very secure. I am not sure if i ever told mom how much I loved it, but I would look forward to it every day. It helped me grow closer to the woman who is easily the most influential and beloved woman in my life. Thank you mom for your patience and wisdom while raising me. You are an amazing mother and I am lucky to call you my mom. I love you.

Love, Jacob

Peacock Walk

This beautiful bird is known as the white peacock. Truly a sight to behold. If we could all take a moment and try to imagine the thought process of a peacock. Surely the bird must feel some degree of superiority. And I am sure that the smug bird would also have a strut to accompany the pomp and circumstance of the feather spread that attaches to its behind. I would also wager that the bird would have to think, since my butt looks this good, imagine how my face looks...

But enough of the bird and on to me. Last week, I decided to ask a girl out on a date. She and I have a friend in common, therefore I saw her more often and decided a date was in order. It being finals week, a quick dinner and dessert was chosen for the outing, and we went out. While on the date, the girl remarked that I slouch as I drive and sometimes when I walk around. I responded that I have rather broad shoulders and that I do not want to appear to have a "Peacock Walk". I want to avoid the cocky walk to appear nicer and more friendly.

She said to forget that and to be proud of having sexy man shoulders. I said ok, and have been trying to walk straight up since then. However, since that time, I've been to work and dealt with the unexpected ramifications of the strut.

Not two days after the date, I went to work. With the advice still on my mind, I walked bold and upright. As I walked into one of the residents rooms, the elderly lady perked up. "Oh my, you are very tall. I like your curly hair", taken slightly aback and laughing to myself about the strange coupling of height and hair, I thanked the lady and helped her to get ready for the day. As we were ready to leave for breakfast, I realized I needed to put on the foot pedals to her wheel chair. As I was bent over attaching the stirrups, several things happened quickly. Another non-descript complement came out and a very age experienced hand was placed on my back, ran down it, and then settled on my bottom. A firm grab was then followed by a laugh from her and a red face from me.

I was once again resolved to not adopt the peacock walk into my daily life. Or rather, I will just have to save the walk for the times I am around young ladies rather than the oldies who have hands that know no bounds.

But I really cant complain... other than that isolated incident, its just another day in paradise here in East Idaho.

Weekend

This past weekend, my roommates and I had a good time together. While being away from family, I was grateful to at least be with some fun people. Seeing as we all are LDS, we went to the Priesthood session of Conference and then afterward, went out to celebrate. This coming week is finals week, so naturally, all are a little stressed. As a result of the extra stress, we planned a trip to the local steak house called Stockmans, which is famous in the area for good quality steak and "All you can eat" steak.

Naturally, this drew us in. Having starved the whole day in preparation for the big night, we became ravenous. On the way to the steak house, we proclaimed that we could easily eat 6, 7, maybe even 8 steaks, as we had prev

iously scouted out the size of the al you can eat steaks. The steaks were somewhere in the vicinity of 4 to 6 ounces each.

When we arrived, they staff knew we were coming, because one of the roommates works there, he informed them that we were coming... hungry. We ordered, and were first brought salad and bread rolls. (Not as good as dads)

Next came the steaks. Expecting the smaller steak, we let out an audible gasp at the sheer size and weight of the cows sitting on our plates.

The first steak was no lie, 16 ounces plus. It was massive. Not wanting to be out done by one another, we all pounded steak one. Steak two came up, the same size as the first. This one took some additional focus, but we muscled that one down too.

Next we took a short walk around the restaurant, to make some room, then it was round three. The third steak was equal in size and we were struggling. Big time. Alas, a new battle raged in our oxygen starved brains. In one corner it was Good judgement. In the other, it was Pride. A fierce battle ensued. Sadly, pride won out, and we ordered another steak. Much to our pleasure, the waitress brought out small 8 ouncers. Thinking we could best another piece of meat we dug in. However, by this time the steak had stopped being steak and tasted more like flavorless gum. Every bite was a challenge. Admitting defeat at the hands of the weenie steak, we asked for the check.

In total, we had approx. 56 ounces of steak in us. Thats 3 1/2 pounds! I think I will never eat steak again. Aside from the horrible stomach ache, a good time was had by all. In one week, four of the six roommates will leave to return home. It was an early good bye.

Twenty Three

As a late and rather final celebration of my birthday, I have decided to list 23 memories. The list is not all inclusive, just a few favorites.

1. School at Neil Armstrong Elementary. I played smurfs on the playground with the other kids, even though I never saw or even knew what smurfs were. I would also try and flirt it up with the girl who played smurfette.

2. Killing the gold fish. Ashley and Amy had a pet gold fish that I was put in charge of caring for. I remember them being gone, and I over fed the little guy. He ate till he burst.

3. While going to play at the McDermotts house, I wore a jacket because I was cold. I decided to run with my hands in my pockets. I tripped and fell, smashing my face on the side walk. With a bloody nose, I staggered home and into the arms of mom, who cleaned me up, held me tight, and I on my way again. I still to this day will not run with my hands in my pockets.

4.Flinging dead fruit (usually apricots because the tree grew so many of them) over the fence in Turlock

5. One winter in Turlock our street flooded. Mom was in school, so she left and we booked it out side right after she left and we (Amy, Ashley, Me) messed around in the street for a while after. I remember the water being super cold.

6. One year at school, I got a sweet lime green shirt that I loved to death. I wore that shirt all the time.

7. I got a black eye on the monkey bars at school. It hurt, but the looks I got were much better.

8. I had a friend named B.J. who lived down the street towards Brown Elementary. I remember wrestling with her younger brother Joey. He was

a tough kid.

9. Joseph moving into my room for a few months and having

to listen to the humidifier every night. It was not too loud, and was actually quite calming.

10. This has only happened to me one time ever. I was young. 7 or 8. I went to bed super tired. I remember laying down, blinking, and it instantly being morning. Seriously. One blink, the whole night passed, and I was full of energy and ready for a new day. It was awesome.

11. This one is out of order, but I can still picture, although dimly, a small bit of the Loma Prieta earthquake. From what I remember, the girls and I were outside with mom. The ground was going crazy and so mom told us to get on the lawn. Later that night some aftershocks came through and woke me up. That memory again, is foggy, but I got it.

12. Moving to Concord. I was pumped to be with dad in the moving truck. And thats all I remember.

13. Breaking my arm on the slope of El Dorado Drive whilst delivering papers for the Contra Costa Times. I was late (as usual) and was bookin it on my roller blades, slipped and fell. For the duration of my term with the cast, I w

ent swimming four times, all four times getting the cast wet, and having to go to Kaiser with d

ad to get a new one. He was so pleased every time.

14. Getting my bike stolen. One day I went

to the park and left my GT bike there. Never saw it again. Sad day.

15. Reading 13 thousand pages in my Elementary School career. What a blast. Goosebumps and I were buddies.

16. Working for Dad doing construction work, and forging a strong father son bond. I remember working on the Aikeles house, something for the Contreras', Fixing something for the Kelleys, another thing for the family from India, and of course the Old Lady addition, whos name I cant remember for the life of me, and several jobs with Phil.

17. Crashing Dads pick up truck. To make

a long story short, I drank a hot 7up, passed out, crashed the truck through several bushes, tore out a sprinkler system, knock out/over a street sign, hit an enclosed trailer, and finally push that trailer into a car. He was so pleased. And to make matters better, both the paramedics

who came to take me to the hospital were light weights. Both around 130 pounds. Dad had to help lift the gurney into the ambulance.

18. Going away to college. Got dropped off at Biddulph Hall, kiss from mom, hug from dad, and that was that. "See you later son."

19. Vacation in Paris! I will never forget taking pictures in front of every door in Paris. Blue, red, black, it didnt matter. I also remember the "Jamaican" guys selling colorful bracelets in front of Sacre Coeur for fifty bucks a pop. Thanks dad for buying them!

20. I will never forget the delicious crepes we would get from the shack outside our hotel. Chicken tika, and banana nutella. Also on the same breath seeing France beat Portugal, then the ensuing chaos in the streets of Paris.

21. Dachau Concentration Camp. I was emotionally drained. Never had I seen so much death and sadness, yet serenity seeing the efforts of the German people to document and preserve the camps in efforts to remember the people and celebrate the power of the human spirit to overcome shear hell.

22. Serving honorably and returning home to see the family. Too many emotions to convey in this space.

23. Living away from home, but still feeling loved and cared for by mom and dad.

And dad you were right, I do not remember the vacation to Lake Tahoe... sorry. But I do have many other great memories, and I hope to make more as the years roll by.

Hambone

While the word hambone to most people would conjure up thoughts and pictures of this:

But in the simpson family we do things a little different. To us the one and only hambone is:

As I continue to learn and grow whilst away at school, I am able to call home and talk to family. Every time I call home, Sam's voice gets deeper and deeper. I bitterly notice that mine stays the same. It has taken me about 23 years to get my voice where it is. 23 years! It has taken Sam less than 15 to best me. But he is wise to not rub it in.

I remember very vividly the times just following my return from serving as a missionary. Sam was pivotal in my assimilation. Sam was the one who got me introduced to current music, cool movies, panago pizza, etc. I think I am a lucky guy to have a brother like Sam. He is a scholar and a gentleman, and he is my brother for eternity.

I consider myself to be very blessed in the brother category, cause lets be real here, both of mine are either an extreme sports enthusiast, or an international athlete.

Just for good measure, I will include another favorite picture of Sam:

Oh wait, thats me... lets try that again

And yes, I will openly admit, I miss Sam, and cant wait to see him again and push him in the snow.

To my Brosef, Joseph

Wanted to take a few minutes to say good job to my little brother. For those who dont know about him, he is an international athlete who went and competed in the Arctic winter games, winning three awards for sportsmanship, and placing in the top five in his races.

If you look closely, you can see the little tyke in the lower right corner lookin innocent, but we know he was really dukin' in his pants.

And here we have the infamous Captain Morgan stance the day after I came home from serving a mission. I will remember that day for the care and compassion that Joseph showed to me. Always one with a big heart, he is cool younger brother, even though he dwarfs me. And if you read this Joseph, know that I am still gonna kick your butt when I see you again, so look out. Love you buddy.

The Case for Warm Weather

Today, while walking home from school, I was caught in a minor storm. The snow was blowing, ice and snow in the face, complete with biting cold. I was reminded of a warmer time.

Reasons why the cold sucks:

Snow, ice, snow covered cars, iced over windshields, pain in face and other extremities, runny noses and sometimes totally frozen boogies, also whenever you go out side, you need layers, and it takes forever to get ready.

Reasons why heat is always better:

Sun, happiness, flowers grow, no pain in face or extremities unless you dont put sunscreen on and you get burned, no frozen boogies, less clothes, sunglasses, shorts, football, baseball, beaches, more happiness, bbq, frisbee, walks at night, etc.

I am mostly sure that hell is like this:

and heaven is more like so:

Combustible Ice

While looking for an article to share in my Environmental Stewardship class, I read about combustible ice.

"Combustible ice, or natural gas hydrate, is mainly found in deep seas and atop plateaus. Approximately one cubic meter of "combustible ice" equals 164 cubic meters of regular natural gas."

Another cool thing about the ice is that because its "ice" it has very low levels of impurities. About 100 countries around the world are looking into the possibility of using it on a wide scale.

China alone, in the territory of Tibet (So, in reality, Tibet owns the ice) China has enough ice to power themselves for 90 years. (Tibet can power its self for upwards of 400 years.)

New Tunes!

So far so good. I am on a roll with more frequent postings. Today was great, I got an email from i tunes telling me I had to use 5 bucks, otherwise they would take the credit away. (I waited too long to use a gift card), so I bought 5 songs.

Lynyrd Skynyrd's I aint the one,

The Raconteurs three of their songs, and one

White Stripes song. If Joseph or Sam or dad wants a cd with the tunes on it, just ask.

Another Day in Paradise

Today is sunday. I've been able to attend church, eat pancakes, nap, study some, update the blog, visit my home teachees, and now make a new post.

Right now, I am watching the Oscars while posting. Its been funny to learn about these movies that I never saw get all these awards. I wonder where I have been. I realize that I have been immersed in American Epidemic. Thus far, learning about things like ATP and how its made, insulin and its process in the blood, cells, etc. Also about Diabetes type 1 and 2.

Some of the blog followers may be noticing the new pics. They were taken by a friend of mine. I like them.

A special shout out for my mom and dad. I was looking at past postings on the family site, and I read how my dad kept mentioning how he wanted me to work, go to school, and he mentioned dating about a thousand times. Glad to report that I am indeed going on dates. I will not say with who, but we will see how it goes.

I also am glad to say that I got my package from home. Inside were slippers, shoes, my other skate, and most importantly, a big box of Red River!! Since then, I've been eating it. For those who are not familiar with the hot cereal, it looks and tastes like bird seed unless you add the goodness of Apple Butter. Anyone who wants a taste can stop by and I will make you some.

Well, hello there sexy blog, havent seen you in while.

I was taking a few minutes to breathe after trying to ingest some new material for one of my classes, and I realized that it had been almost an eternity since I posted something new. School is going really well, and I am loving my professors. One in particular is Jason Shaw. He is a stick of a man, but very smart, and has a good teaching strategies to help students learn the material fast. He is my American Epidemic teacher.

Ive been learning about the cardiovascular system, and it is great. A lot to learn, but so far, the chemistry is coming along fine.

Excited for the next conference session though because I will get to go to the mission reunion, and see many former companions, some that I havent seen in a while.

Since the last post, I have purchased three little fishes, and they are added to the blog. Ricky Bobby, is blue, goober is green, and Bo is black. And so they are represented on the blog. How fun.