Mischievous Wood

Gardening in the Great White North

There are many things the Simpson clan does well. One of the highlights is gardening. We are a family devoted to the art of harvest. The second day of my stay in Fort McMurray we (the slave labor force consisting of both my brothers and I) laid sod in a section of the backyard. (Pictures enclosed.)

Yes we do always look this good.

This is the "Act Natural" pose we gave as my mom frenetically snapped photos.

This last picture is posted as a special request from my better half;

This is me after a long day of laying concrete, and other assorted landscaping work. My face is one of pure joy of being done haha

Rule 22 of Being a Gentleman

Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him.

-John Locke

Lego Wizard

One time, as a child, I did something wrong. Probably broke something. It was in San Ramon. At the time, I was an avid lego artist. You could say the legos and I had a special relationship. Well, dad came home from work, and I knew I was in trouble. Sitting on my bed, waiting for my punishment, it felt like it took him ten years to walk down the hallway to my room.

As he rounded the corner into my room, i tried to look as pathetic as possible. Considering it was the early 90's, and hammer pants were fashionable, it wasn't too hard.

"Your mother is not happy with you."

Me, with my head buried and feigning despair, "I know."

"I think you need to lose a toy for a week" he continued. (This was the closest I EVER got to being grounded) "What is your faorite toy? I am going to have to take it".

What follows was, as I see it, is pure genius. I never played with brio trains. They were not portable, nor were they cool looking like hot wheels. They were in my mind, a sunday toy. Kind of dry, but still technically entertainment. "Well dad, I sure love my brio set. Please don't take it away."

"Where do you keep it?" he asks.

In my head I say something like; I dunno... under the bed covered in the dust of forgetfulness... But I choke out "In the plastic box under my bed?"

Sure enough, there they are, and he takes them. To be totally honest, I do not know when, if ever, they came back to my room. All I knew is that I duped mom AND dad, all while keeping legos. Two points for Jacob.

Nuggets of Truth from the Internet

I found this little guy during a random web surf. Even before I was born, Albert knew what was up. What a genius.

Haiku

Haiku's Are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

Stumbler!

I know some who love to see new amazing sites, and I have found a way to see many different kinds of cool sites from all over the internet. The following is amazing;

I found this guy from a website called stumbleupon.com

I am SO Hungry

Before you continue reading, know that I never remember dreams, so this is something very special. I know a Mexican place that has such good Mexican food that their chicken burrito has the same effect on me as a good movie. (127 Hours) I think about it for hours after I'm done with it. I mope around with the thought of it in my head, looking forlornly at my now empty hand. I wonder how all the elements came together so well. I have a tough time sleeping after it because the theme and plot and characters are running through my head. Finally, I wake up in the middle of the night and discover something new about it; I woke up at four in the morning in a cold sweat because of the Cilantro, and wondering how I could incorporate some chile rellenos....

Justin Timberlake as Ginger Bread Man

Justin Timberlake. Probably the best white dancer of all time. And has good comedic timing. Fast forward to 2:25 to see the dancing. Good times.

M&M's - You Are What You Eat

I love Patrick Warburton. He has a funny voice, and has also played one of the best henchmen of all time, being immortalized as Kronk from "The Emperors New Groove". When I saw this commercial, I felt the need to share with everyone his talents.

This is my Nephew James

As a few of you people know, I have a nephew named james, who is a hilarious boy. He loves to be the center of attention, and while this is not literally him, I could see him acting like this a lot. And strangely enough, the father has facial expressions like my brother in law, and the part with the mother sliding the sandwich down to her son is reminiscent of my sister.

Oh and I almost forgot

I do have wedding photos. It has been a while, but I finally got some to show off.

The Super Bowl

This past week was the event known as the Super Bowl. While I have grown up an avid fan of the game, for some reason, my interest has been waning. For example, this past weekend I knew the game was on, my roommates and I had good food prepared, and flat screen to ready to go. Normally this would be a young mans main desire, I was not interested.

To further prove my dis-interest here is what's more thrilling now:

- Anatomy and Physiology homework

- Cleaning my room

- Going to the gym

- Working out with my Biggest Winner Group (I am the Trainer for a weight loss group on campus)

- Blogging (clearly)

- Listening to music

- Walking around

Is this what "mature" people do? Or am I just kinda weird?

New Photos

CA Wedding

I went to CA recently for Amy's wedding. I did not take any pictures, but I was taken in many, so I'll try and poach some for my own blog. Stay tuned for more details.

this is quick post, but I love to watch the office, and I love the character Dwight. In real life Rainn Wilson who plays Dwight, made the web site soulpancake.com, described its self as a place to "Chew on life's big questions" which in essence is a community question board. I have checked it out, and have become a regular contributor. Feel free to look for yourself.

And some photos

1 for 7

Throughout history, epic battles have taken place. Some more balanced than others. Some include the battle of Good versus Evil. In tonight's blog, we will learn of the battle between Stacey and Jacob.
Stacey is the accomplished racket ball player. Jacob is what we can call a novice... a newbie... rook...
a tennis player rather than racket ball. Since the start of their time together, they have played a few games and the series has been some what one sided. Jacob stands proud of what he has accomplished, a whopping one victory... sad day... and Stacey has been dominating thus far (7 wins). Tonight was heartbreaking as Jacob was two points away from winning, but Stacey stormed back from 4 down and won 15-13. It broke his competitive edge, and he subsequently lost the next few games by a combined score of 30 to 10.
I wish I could bring news of victory in other areas, but the series record for Speed (a card game) is at 13 wins for Stacey to 6 wins for Jacob. Skip bo is no better (5-0), neither is Nerts (10-0)... and lets not get started with Boggle

Old Person Conversation of the Week

Me: Are you ready for lunch?

Old Lady: What is he cooking?

Me: (after examining the meal chart) Looks like finger steaks... yummy

Old Lady: Those again!? Them nasty things are older than Methuselah. I'm not going.

Then she said "We might as well get married"

As most of the blog followers know, I am not romantically involved with any females... at all. I am trying to date and find that special someone, but to no avail just yet. I do want to eventually get married, and I would like to have a family, I just have not met her yet. One of the blessings about living in Rexburg is the guy to girl ratio is in my favor, and so I do get hit on more times than not. Also, working where I do, the errant hand of an elderly woman sometimes finds its way into previously uncharted area...

Last friday, the 28th of May I was at work. Having been recently given a promotion to a Restorative Nursing Assistant, RNA for short, I get to work with residents doing therapy instead of manning the bedpans and assisting with showers. I think some of the residents picked up on the new vibe I have been giving out, and started to act out in response.

One lady in particular, we'll call her Betty age 87 with Alzheimers, decided to make my day. Early into my shift, she decided to wake up and start her morning laps. Betty is one of the more mobile people in the facility and has a busted old crimson walker with a black wire basket that doubles as a seat. The basket is stuffed, dare I say busting with useless artifacts found throughout the home. Napkins, kleenex, romantic novels, plastic spoons, music books stolen from the piano room, assort

ed cups from the dining hall, etc. Betty is quite the character.

As Betty was doing her laps around the hallways, she saw me and made a bee line towards me. Fearing for my shins (They have been collided into by many a walker) I put my hands out to stop the advancing metallic device. Betty then proceeded to invite me back to her room for a "good time" as she put it including the quotation marks. I respectfully declined, but to mixed shock and horror, she decided to not wait for a room. I can only assume that she felt her birthday suit was more appropriate for the situation as she started to unbutton her blouse. Having worked at the home for several months, I was well equipped to handle the situation. Buttoning up the blouse and assisting to the dining hall for breakfast, she started to talk about her desire for a family. I assured her that she already has one and I am looking for a younger woman.

Those were the wrong words.

Remember now that we are on our way to the dining hall, which is right next to the front door. One of out corporate officials (who incidentally looks like a carbon copy of Dolores Umbridge) was visiting and had just walked in as I uttered my desire for a more youthful bride to Betty. I could instantly tell this was the perfect storm. Betty looked me in the eye and exclaimed "Well then why am I wearing your clothes?" Just after that, a very Umbridge style cough came from the frog-like woman. But Betty was not done... then she said, "we might as well get married."

Realizing I could not salvage this conversation at all, and fully expecting Miss Umbridge to have a few words for me after work, all I could do was laugh. For some reason, I am talented with the middle aged woman, and experts with the elderly ones. I think I am going to have to consult with Sam about the younger ladies... he would know.